Still Surviving

So, it has been many months since my last post. I have kind of fallen out of the blogging world, but I am still surviving as far as my marriage goes. Max has had ups and downs and it has been depressing and difficult at times, but both of us have become more and more steady. We both have learned to be less codependent on each other and on each other's feelings. It is continual hard work, but worth it.
One other thing I try to remember is that I need to be the woman that my husband wants to be with. I need to not be depressed and questioning him all the time. I need to be upbeat, positive, cheerful, fun and understanding. At times, it is impossible to be happy. But, at those times, I can still stay out of the codependent mode, and do my best to focus on myself and what "I" can do to help my own situation. It is times when I focus on what Max should do when I fall into a rut, sometimes a swamp.
Just in any marriage, I need to be a wife that he wants to fight for and work hard for. I need to create a marriage that is worth saving. That is what I try to focus on, along with focusing on the future and not the past.
I have made peace with the past, and I can not change the past, so there is no use worrying about the past. I will never forget the past and that is important, so I don't make the same mistakes or enable Max in any way.
The point is, that I am trying my best, each day. I am working hard and I am trying my best to improve me and my part in our marriage.